Long Live the Queen...

Awhile back I mentioned I had seen "Marie Antoinette" and did not, at the time have the time to "blog" about it...
Et voila - here I am.

I LOVED IT!!!

If there is an ounce of estrogen coursing thru your veins then what is NOT to love? Visually this film was a spectacle but of course it took place at Versailles...spectacle of all spectacles! Jewels and colors, frocks and ridiculously towering hairdos ruled the day along with this misunderstood queen. You only have to dip your toe into the history of what "court life" was like at Versailles to see that this poor thing did not stand a chance fitting in...oddly like another princess so near to my heart...

To the ears "Marie Antoinette" was an dance party! This soundtrack rocks our house daily lately! How in the world Sophia Copolla had the genius to combine, sensual and angst filled music from the 80's with classically styled music (that I believe was made for the film) is beyond me. The music is truly a character in the film.
There are so many wonderful stories to be told it is about time that someone payed hommage to this queen (I believe the last film based on her life was made in 1923).
Ever the royalist I felt badly for her. She never said "let them eat cake" but the film kind of hints that she did - sadly it is what she is known best for so I suppose they caved to the pressure and added that scene. She did what many housewives in America do with inattentive husbands...spend their money. For that, they labeled her a whore and sent her to the guillotine. Of course her story is more detailed than that and I was grateful to the director for ending on a beautiful and moving note instead of her dignified expression on the way to her death.
For more on this amazing piece of history you might enjoy the French film: "Ridicule" This film, though not sympathetic to the queen it gives you and idea of the ridiculous nature of the propriety of the court at Versailles.
And for a more detailed account of her life may I suggest:
Queen of France by Castelot
and
Marie Antoinette by F. W. Kenyon both I believe are out of print but worth the hunt for a die hard Francophile!

The Crappy Music Awards (OK it wasnt all crappy...)

When I started to take my notes during this evening’s CMA awards Joel reminded me to “pepper my comments with grace” of course he was kidding (he hates that expression.) So be warned, cause I didn’t these are my notes, pure Ang sarcasm and compliment when appropo.
When I tell people that I love country music I have to “pepper” that statement with the fact that I like about ten percent of Country music. The rest is an atrocity…a crime against the fiddle and the steel guitar.
If you don’t know what a fiddle and steel guitar are…well, that just drives home my point on why a hate most country musicians, cause they don’t know what they are either.
Enjoy the play by play…

Brooks and Dunn…Sheryl Crow. Who decided you (Sheryl) were “country?”

Carrie Underpants. Joel was hoping you would sound a little better live. I missed it.

Brad, Brad, Brad…second performance of the night and we are only 30 minutes into this thing and possibly the best performance of the night. You could teach Carrie what it means to sound as good live as you do on your C.D.

Sugarland…or as I like to call her, Marble Mouth, I can not understand a word of your singing. Please stop. No, no, no, you don’t raise the bar high.

Gretchen. You should give lessons to the rest of ‘em. We’re sure glad they aint’ all California girls.

Camera pans to Billy Ray Cyrus…is this a Keith Urban look alike contest?

Song of the year announcer, LeAnn Womack, you’re scaring me.

OK, Brooks and Dunn, I BELIEVE I don’t want to see you any more than I have to tonight, you have won twice already you’re your songwriter wrote a lovely song but perhaps a 300 pound cowboy should not wear sequins…hmmm.

Like Red on a Rose. Not a bad thing can be said when Alan and Allison work together. Does anyone have this CD yet…I’ve just got to get it!

Little Big Town. Too good for this town. (Nashville) I wonder how many times Music Row said, “You’re not really what we are looking for.”

Rascal Fats. Really people. What is the fascination with these guys/gays? Their songs are corny. Is he singing with a clothespin on his nose??? I guess it’s true, when you’re (think you’re) cool the sun does shine on you twenty-four hours a day. Am I the ONLY person that can tell that these guys SUCK??? It’s called a pitch…get one! It’s called country music…sing it!

Wait…Racal Flats just won Vocal Group of the year…shouldn’t you have to be able to SING to win that award.

Martina. OK, as a vocalist, I feel like I connect with you the most. Your songs allow me to “let it fly” whether in my kitchen or on stage at Fountain Park (my only, every other year gig) but I’m really tired of the ballad. The happy-feel-good-strive-for-yumminess type songs. Your last good ballad was “Where would you be?” You should come out on stage and belt our one of those rockers like , “My Time.” Sing it anyways girl.

George Strait! I love you George and I hate everything!
Give it away baby “mmm” cause THAT is country music! Congratulations.

Kenny. OK, I converted to your camp last year but let me quote Joel for a moment here, “Is he sick? He sounds like s*&%!”
Dang, I defended you to Jennifer just a few months ago!
How embarrassing to get up in front of all your peers and be as flat as a pancake. Yikes.

The Wreckers. NOT COUNTRY! GO WRECK SOMEONE ELSE’S AWARD SHOW. IT’S NOT ALRIGHT, YOU WON’T BE FINE, GO FIND “LIGHT F.M.!” TAKE YOUR PIECES WITH YOU!

Trisha- how’s come you always dress like a nun on crack! I’ll quote Joel again, “Is that all Garth could afford or what?”

Alright, Brooks and Dunn won again but at least for every time they win it’s one less time that I have to see Montgomery Gentry!

Dierks. Dierks. I LOVE YOU!!! Every mile is a memory with you on the radio! What the flip did I listen to before you came along with your big white truck, your white tank top fettish and that rockin hair!!! How am I doing since you did what you done to me? Just fine Dierks!

Dead air.

Dead air.

Eva Longoria. Gain a pound. Holocaust chic is out.

And the award for male vocalist of the year is KEITH URBAN…and I will quote my couch partner again, “Poor bastard.”

AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE, WE WILL BE KEITH FANS!

Miranda, who did I listen to before YOU came on the scene? You crazy girl. You were the most exiting part of last years show with your flames of Kerosene and this year…well you can bash a guitar on the stage every night! IT’S CALLED ENTERTAINEMTN PEOPLE and Miranda brings it!!!

Faith. I WAS a fan. But it’s called over-exposure. Oh man, I am gonna gag – this song has too many words, what the heck is she singing about. Beer and policmen, house dresses, neighbors that drive you crazy…what’s with the shoutin’ away from the mic? Is this the new theme to Desperate Housewives?
Faith – your voice sounded just about perfect. Why not use it for something good…like a COUNTRY song!!!
What was with that outfit?

JOSH!!! I WILL GO WITH YOU ANYWHERE!!! Dreamy, like butta! Josh for President! Why don’t they just give you “best male vocalist EVER” award so I can go to bed and this stupid show could be over! Effortless.

Horizon..are you kidding. Carrie Underpants. Say it ain’t so. They overplay you babe. It’s really annoying.

Congrats 99.5 – too bad you lost Big John, that’s OK, he went to the ONLY OTHER station we listen too. How ironic is that? Too bad they didn’t ask me to co-host with him! (I used to work there).

Left the room for a spot of tea and came back to some poor guy being cut off by the “shut up” music. How rude. As if that guy hasn’t paid his dues a hundred times over!

JASON ALDEAN! Man we rock out to you in the Silverado and baby Aidan might be your biggest fan. He likes it LOUD! Hey…THAT is country music! This song makes me want to pack it up and move to a hick town! (That’s the Farmgirl in me…the Parisienne screams, don’t do it, where will you find a good bottle of wine?!!)

Sarah, I love this song (I sang it this summer!) Sarah, you looked miserable. I can’t imagine what is going on if your life. We wish you the best. You’re our favorite!

Billy Ray – really, is this a look alike contest or what? I am sorry but he looks like a buffoon.
Joelism, “If Carrie Underwood wins I am going to sh&#!”
Dang! I was typing but Joel said Faith Hill was like, “WHAT” and the camera caught it.1 I can’t believe I missed it.
Joel wants to know how this is possible! Ridiculous.

Album of the Year: Brad Paisly. I sing that “To the World Song” to Aidan in the rear-view mirror. He likes it. I think it is so sweet how he sings all those to his wife!

Vince – please come back to us. We’ve had the great chance to see you in concert quite a few times, you’re so good, do you really need Sheryl Crow – what is with everyones fascination with her? Why couldn’t Amy have played the guitar and harmonized with him? Their voices have such a nice blend.

Goodness, can I go to bed already??? Wouldn’t it be nice if Keith could win Entertainer.Kenny…Oh brother. I’m off to bed.


See you next year.

This Pitch, This Pitch...

I just was surfing around the internet and stumbled upon a clip of Faith Hill and Tim McGraw singing. I think someone stepped on a cat.
Here I am yodeling and DO, RAE, MEing my ass off every day getting ready for my big concert this summer, panicking that I have neglected my voice and fighting back the voices of insecurity reminding me that all of the sudden I have theses whipper-snappers in my family coming out of the woodwork with voices to rival Ella and Judy...
I have got my work cut out for me. It will be hours that I pour into this just to get my vocal muscles back in shape. I am pushing myself, vowing to save face in front of hundreds of people and my family...so what...tell me what, excuse do Faith and Tim have for SUCKING and could someone tell me how you get famous when you can't hold your pitch in a LARGE FIVE GALLON BUCKET??? If that's all it takes then I should have 5 Grammys on my mantel.

My Play by Play on the CMA's

No Juls, Country Music cant save us tonight! What the HOLY HELL is going on??? If this is talent then Jen, Chels, Melis and I should be skyrocketing to the top of the Billboard charts just for singing in the shower!

Hey Garth! Stay retired. Hated you then, hate you now.

Brooks and Dunn...Crooks and DUMB! You keep stealing awards and your hair is as ridiculous as your songs.

Kris Kristoferson go home.

Bon Jovi you must have gotten lost on your way to the Democratic National Convention.

Alan, Love you baby but I believe Eric Clapton already made that song a hit.

Little Australian girl - you're great- its not even half over but you may have saved the show. I was gonna give up on country til you threw your guitar and rocked out! Joel says you have more talent in your little pinky than...

Faith Hill. Faith...Tim...Were you fighting? You make me wanna watch "My Name is Earl" At least that is SUPPOSED to be funny!

Keith - your cute, you can pick like nobody's business...SICK of the song.

Martina. That song was a "beat off" or something. You have money...get a stylist. You are one of my favorites but after seeing that you sold out to Wal-Mart this is the second time you have embarrassed me this week.

Trace Atkins. You are a bad-ass and I love you.

Trisha...Just go back home to Garth.

Kenny, Kenny, Kenny. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAA!!! You finally got knocked of your beach sand, pucca shelled, divorced in 3 months pedestal. Keith smoked your ass...hahahahahaha!!!!

Gretchen. Give your creative guy a raise. That video behind you was COOL. Your perfect pitch was a breath of fresh country mountain air in a smog of shrunken cowboy hats, bad eye makeup and commercialized-bubble-gum-country-crap!

Allison, Allison dear Allison. The consummate professional even when those dorks forgot to turn your mic on. (That happened to me in 11th grade!) There is a reason you are Aidans favorite. Your an angel with a fiddle. Sexy dress too!

And the female vocalist is...Gretchen! Wow. She beat Allison. I am shocked. Tough call.

Dierks. Hold that pitch baby. You are so cute but sadly you forgot your bucket. You must have been nervous. You didn't seem like yourself and I have seen you sing that song flawlessly.

Montgomery Gentry. What can I say? I actually get angry that you are famous. Posers! What's with that cigar and that Broadway duster. What's with Dusters in general? I suppose you had that made just for tonight? Too bad. You are still nerds.

God AND Jesus! Wow! Anyone can thank God, but to thank Jesus too??? Now I love you even more Dierks, congrats on your award!

Still to come...Dolly, Shania and...Elton John???

"Jesus Take the Wheel". Oh my goodness. I heard that song for the first time the other day working in the garage. That is an awesome song. I remember Mom telling us she would see us in heaven when we hit that ice patch so that song really struck a chord. I've GOT to sing that one!

Rascal Flats. Of course people criticize your music. Its for pansies. Come on. I don't care how much you thank God. I would thank Him if I never had to hear your music again. Where is the "shut up" music when you need it?

Brooks and Dunn. Didn't I tell you to stop it? Neon Moon. I'll give you that and THAT's it!

Elton. Go back to England. Last time I checked I was watching the COUNTRY music awards. I mean, thanks for "Your Song" and all- its a great addition to the Moulin Rouge soundtrack but what the hell are you singing? I cant understand a bloody word. Is that the "Queens" english?

Dolly singing John Lennon. Didn't he get SHOT for crappy music?

Shania and Billy Joel. Dont worry Billy. I don't think Shania owns a cowboy hat either. They don't were them in SWITZERLAND!

Entertainer of the year...The only two worthy of the nomination are Alan and Keith...GO KEITH!!! Kenny dogged again. hahahaha- Joel hopes they give you more than 30 seconds to talk. They didn't of course.


So there you have it. The good, the bad and Rascal Flats. No pun intended. See you next year!